When Your Business Outgrows Who You Thought You Were
For the accidental business owners
I work with accidental business owners. People who didn't start out with the intention of creating a business - rather, the business grew up around them. They got really good at what they do, which enabled them to bring in people to help, and when they realise they are actually running a business, it can freak them out.
They don't identify with being a business owner, even though that's exactly what they are.
And that gap - between who they are and who they now need to be - is where things start to get uncomfortable.
They have moved a step along the competence stages from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence. Not in everything; they are still competent in the work they are doing, but incompetent in knowing how to run a business; at least that's how it feels. They have moved from being unaware of the gaps to being aware and unsure how to fill the gaps without ruining the business.
The four stages of competence
You may have come across this model before - it's a useful lens for understanding exactly why this transition feels so hard.
The destination is stage four. But first, you have to get through stage two.
Here's what stage two often looks like in real life.
You keep working with a clunky process, held together with tape and luck, because you don't have the capacity to fix it properly.
You have team members chomping at the bit for the next stage, but you need them to wait while you find the headspace to lead them there.
You keep giving your time away or discounting your services because somewhere underneath it all, you're not quite sure it's worth full price.
You second-guess or overthink relatively straightforward decisions because you don't fully trust yourself yet.
You want to spell it "mould", not "mold" - you know your standard - but letting it go feels easier than holding the line on something that might seem picky.
It's not laziness. It's the weight of feeling like you should know the answer, and not quite trusting that you do.
The confidence starts to wobble, which is completely normal, and overwhelm starts sneaking in. At a time when you need to be thinking at your clearest, you start to doubt yourself, overthink, and procrastinate. Wanting to pump the brakes rather than keep on pedalling.
This stage of the competence curve can actually be the hardest - in the unconsciously incompetent stage, you are in ignorant bliss - unaware of the gaps in your knowledge. But once you are aware of them, you can imagine they are much bigger and more difficult to learn than they actually are.
Here's what I want you to know: the awareness itself is progress.
The discomfort you're feeling isn't a sign that you're failing. It's a sign that you're growing. The business didn't outgrow you - you're just in the process of catching up to it. And that process, with the right support, is faster and far less painful than going it alone.
Having someone who has been there and done that can be incredibly comforting, particularly when you are under a time crunch and don't have the luxury to take the time to sort it out on your own.
What shifts when you have that support isn't just the knowledge; it's the confidence that comes from having a clear picture of where you are, where you're going, and what actually needs your attention right now. The overwhelm doesn't disappear overnight, but it stops running the show.
I caught up with a client last week who said: "Something happened early this week and I started freaking out about it - then I remembered we were catching up today and instantly thought: Becs will know what to do."
And she was right - I did know what to do. We worked through her problem together and came up with a solution that not only worked for her, but that she was excited about going away and putting into place. That's what having the right person in your corner looks like, not someone who takes over, but someone who helps you think more clearly than you can when you're in the thick of it.
If you're in that in-between place right now - competent in your craft, but quietly wondering whether you've got what it takes to lead the business you've built - I'd love to have a conversation.
Not a sales pitch. Just an honest kōrero about where you're at and whether working together makes sense.
Recognise yourself in any of this?
A Clarity Call is a focused, no-fluff conversation about where you are and what's getting in the way.