The Identity Gap
I've had a few moments in my life where how I feel doesn't quite match the title I have.
When I left university, I got a little buzz writing "Scientist" under occupation on forms, because I'd trained for four years to earn the right to write that. When I got married, taking on a new name and the title of wife was a shift. And when I became a mother, there was another one entirely.
With each of these changes, there was a lag. A gap between when I'd earned the title and when it actually felt like it belonged to me.
I think that happens for a couple of reasons. Change always requires a moment of adjustment. But also, we rarely stop to think about the identity connected to the change, about who we need to become to step fully into this new version of ourselves.
I see this gap all the time when people make the shift from "person running a business" to actually becoming a business owner.
All in, or contributing?
I love the bacon and eggs analogy when it comes to business. The chicken contributed to the meal. The pig went all in.
It's the same with business ownership. Your workers contribute to your business, and that contribution matters. But you are the one putting everything on the line. Sometimes literally.
Unless someone has been in this position themselves, it's very difficult to understand what it actually means to own a business. The real cost of it. The choices you have to make. The boundaries and standards you have to hold consistently to make it work.
That's not a complaint. It's just the truth of what you've signed up for. And owning that truth is part of closing the identity gap.
Steps you can take to feel more like the business owner you are.
Know your business.
This sounds simple, but many owners aren't clear on how their business actually makes money. Which offerings are most profitable. Which clients are worth the most. What the fixed and variable overheads are, and which levers to pull to increase revenue or reduce expenses. This is Boss Mode work, and it's foundational.
Know yourself.
Understand what you're genuinely good at and outsource the rest. Be aware of your blind spots, and surround yourself with people who will challenge your thinking in a way that actually helps you. Not yes-people. People who will tell you what you need to hear.
Have an expert team.
This doesn't necessarily mean employees. It could be contractors, your accountant, your lawyer, your coach. What matters is that the people in these roles are more capable in their area than you are. You're not trying to be the expert in everything. You're trying to surround yourself with experts.
Trust yourself.
The ultimate marker of a settled identity is trust. Being able to trust yourself to meet the expectations of this new role.
As a business owner, that means trusting yourself to make the right call. And trusting yourself to fix it if you get it wrong.
There is nothing you can break that you can't then fix.
That's not recklessness. That's the quiet confidence of someone who has fully stepped into who they are.
Recognise yourself in any of this?
A Clarity Call is a focused, no-fluff conversation about where you are and what's getting in the way.