Leadership Struggles: Imposter Syndrome
I am Maori. I don’t look Māori or sound Māori or “feel” Māori; this is where I feel most like an imposter.
What is imposter syndrome?
The Oxford Dictionary describes Imposter Syndrome as “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills”. I like to think of it as how you feel about yourself not matching the things you have done or who you are. Or as simple as the internal doesn’t align with the external.
My whakapapa
I am Māori. My sister and my father have done the hard work to trace our whakapapa. All the way back to a young girl who landed on the ship Timandra in Taranaki in 1842. She caught the eye of a young Māori boy from Te Ati Awa. Or maybe he caught her eye. Either way, they met, they married and they had children. This is where I come from this is my whakapapa and this is recorded in my DNA. I am registered with my iwi, I know my hapū. I am Māori.
My imposter syndrome
How imposter syndrome shows up for me is I don’t “feel” Māori - whatever that means. I haven’t been on my marae, I don’t look Māori, I don’t speak te reō, I don’t understand what it means to be Māori. I struggle to say “I am Māori”.
I am on a journey to discover what it means for me to be Māori. Imposter syndrome stops me from leaning into this journey, it stops me from sharing this journey with others and it stops me from speaking te reo for fear of getting it “wrong” or inadvertently offending someone.
Here’s how I tackle my imposter syndrome.
Tackling Imposter syndrome
I tackle imposter syndrome with three straightforward steps:
Bring awareness to the situation
The first step is being aware. If you haven’t encountered imposter syndrome before this step could be difficult. Rather than looking for a feeling or emotion you are unfamiliar with look for behaviours. Do you minimise your accomplishments when you talk about them? Do you feel “weird” telling others about what you have done? Do you step back when an opportunity presents itself as it might be “too much” - you’re not sure you could “do it” justice? Do you feel you will be enough when you finish just one more training course?
I remember an example when I was looking to buy a new pair of boots - I was thinking black or brown, but I came across a gorgeous pair of olive green boots. I liked them but didn’t know if I could “pull them off” (imposter syndrome). I asked myself “Who wears green boots?” The answer was almost instantaneous - I do. And I did - I owned and wore that gorgeous pair of boots for over ten years.
It’s catching yourself in the awareness of “Who am I to …” and then challenging yourself to be that.
Analysis - Examine the story
The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They shape how we respond to the world. They can limit our beliefs, keep us playing small and stop us from reaching our full potential. The great thing about these stories is that we can rewrite them.
I start by writing down the original story. I then look for evidence that this story isn’t true. The next step is identifying what needs to change and writing a new story. Then I plan out my action steps and articulate what success looks like. The final step is to cross out the title of my story and replace it with the new version. I like to keep this template visible while I work through the process.
Here is the story I am telling myself about not being Māori enough.
You can use the above template to rewrite your story - let me know if you would like me to send you a blank template so you can try it out yourself.
Take action to build confidence
The final step is to build confidence. Take the action list from above and do it.
It’s really that simple.
It’s the culmination of simple daily steps that will result in you changing how you feel about your situation and feeling less like an imposter.
It can be helpful to journal in this stage, using reflective practice to embed the course of action. It could be as simple as writing down three things each day that counteract your specific imposter syndrome.
The beauty of this is it gets you to hunt out your specific examples and what you give attention and focus to grows. It will also give you a list of evidence as you write your new story, you can review this list whenever imposter syndrome is sneaking in.
How does imposter syndrome show up for you?
I help leaders get a life. Many of my clients don’t “feel like” leaders, or don’t feel like “enough” of a leader. Some of my clients don’t identify as leaders at all.
Whether it’s not feeling like enough of a business owner, feeling like your job is more of a hobby, or simply thinking others will think you are arrogant when you share your podcast - imposter syndrome is something we all feel, to varying degrees.
I can understand the tension between wanting to grow, develop and increase your skill set and accepting that you are enough exactly as you are.
If you want support to work through your feeling of imposter syndrome book a call using the link below to find out how I can help.